To be perfectly clear: what follows here is my take on the subject of sexual energy and creativity as written about by Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich as well as my own original material called the Feminine Manifesting Map.
The subject of sex and changing or transmuting sex into is not a topic commonly discussed among women and certainly not in business. The word transmute actually means to change something elemental into something else that is as basic as an element. The ancient alchemists were obsessed with changing metal into gold, to no avail. Luckily transmuting sexual energy into something else is much simpler.
So let’s be clear about something from the beginning: we are talking about two different ways of considering sexual energy. The first is the sexual drive that is actually satiated with a sexual contact, whether that is with yourself or a partner. And yes, I am referring to self sex here. The second is the feeling of sexual energy as it begins to move in the body. We’ll refer to this as the energy of sex, as separate from the act of sex. It is the energy of sex that we transmute or change into other useful endeavors.
Sexual energy, in and of itself, is very positive. Of course we know that sex creates more human beings. And a healthy sex drive is indicative of overall good health. Sexual energy is extremely motivating: it can propel people into their genius zone faster than any other impetus.
So sexual transmutation is simply using the energy of “turn on” to “turn on” your creativity, your business, your life! It’s the most powerful of all human desires and the least understood.
Because of deep society conditioning, the conversation of sex transmutation has been taboo, hidden, pushed under the rug. The freedom of sexual expression has never been more available. We now feel free to have sex and express ourselves as gay, lesbian, straight, transgender, gender fluid, gender neutral, polyamorous or any combination thereof. I believe it’s this freedom that now has the conversation about sexual transmutation and the connection between sex and abundance rising to awareness.
Think about a time you met someone that you were enamored with. Smitten. Absolutely attracted to. The feeling of desire, the somewhat obsessive thoughts about your next encounter, the physical sensation when you see them. What gyrations you went through to be available or “coincidentally” bump into them. This energy is so strong, so compelling, so consuming that people run the risk of life, reputation, and all that they hold dear in order to scratch this itch. It activates our ability to take a risk, be courageous and single minded in pursuit of a goal. It is simply the most powerful energy available to humans. So why do we only use it in the pursuit of a 30 second release when we could direct it towards so many other things?
What if we had that same burning desire for our business? For making money? For expressing our creative art? For our life? And why don’t we already do this?
For one, this mindset requires self-disciple and will power. You’ve got to be willing to delay your gratification and hold your attention on something for longer than 3 seconds. Three seconds has been shown to be the evolving average human attention span, less, actually than a goldfish.
Then there are all the rules of being a good girl. Terms and conditions of what being a woman means. Things like “good girls don’t do that” and “don’t be too pushy or he won’t like you” or “being sexually confident means you’re a bad girl”. The shadow of being called a witch, a bitch or a whore.
Women have been conditioned to believe that sexual expression should be contained and controlled. Sexual expression is natural and normal and should not be contained or diminished. It requires an outlet and if no outlet is provided, the energy finds a purely physical outlet.
Sexual energy is the rocket fuel of great achievement, and once you really understand this, you will understand its epic impact.
Great achievement is begins with intuition. Our intuition, or sixth sense as some call it, is constantly guiding and influencing our thoughts and feelings. It isactually intuition that triggers our growth and understanding to becoming the best version of ourselves that we can be. And this intuitive faculty is amplified with sexual energy. There are several things that awaken and amplify intuition including sexual energy, love, a burning desire for to achieve, music, suffering and of course drugs and alcohol. But nothing gets us into our genius zone – the place that activates intuition and creativity - as effectively as the energy of sex.
It’s this genius zone that is of particular interest here. The genius zone happens when we tap into our intuition and is typically the place we bring forth our best ideas. Most women have a well developed “sixth sense” or a sense of intuition, the trick is to turn it on and access it at will.
Even in 1923, when Napoleon Hill wrote Think and Grow Rich, he believed that there were only four places that creative ideas came from:
· The Divine Infinite Intelligence
· Our own subconscious that has stored and recorded every impression since birth
· The conscious thinking mind of other people
· The unconscious mind of other people
Once the brain itself has been stimulated it lifts the thinking process to a different plane beyond ordinary thought. It is this different plane that then taps into creative intuition. Today we might refer to these levels as a mind frequency or different levels of brain waves. From this vantage point we have the ability to see things differently, see them from a different perspective. We have the freedom to find creative solutions that we wouldn’t have access to in any other way.
Many well known artists, musicians and writers become famous because the work they produce is so original and unique. This originality comes about because they have learned the habit of listening to their creative intuition.
One way of tapping into your intuition at will is to stimulate the mind and then concentrate of what you know to be true about your project or idea, and then imagine the project completed perfectly. At that point, if you open to intuition, you may get a download of the perfect steps to complete the project.
The most potent form of energy that stimulates the mind is sexual energy and this sexual energy must be changed from requiring a sexual release to some other form of action. Only in that way does the sexual energy activate creativity.
One thing that Hill did not talk about was the difference in the way that men and women transmute or change sexual energy into some other action. Of course in 1923, women were not yet vocal about success and personal transformation. And they sure as heck didn't talk about sex! Personal excellence was not a goal for the majority of people at that time in history.
I find it fascinating that Hill identifies sexual energy as the fuel that drives the mind but only when that energy is deliberately channeled. In other words, Hill is referring to moving this energy from the lower body upward into the brain. This is an ascending flow of energy and is the way that women create most effectively.
Men manifest using a descending flow, top down. This is also what most of the “intentional” and “think about it and create it” work is based on. It goes like this: You have an idea, and you speak it out loud. You write your affirmations and make sure you feel aligned with them–they resonate. Then you take an inspired action and (in a perfect world, given no unresolved blocks) you create something. It is a descending flow of energy from the top down, and it works. I have done it many times, but what I noticed is that I always had to keep priming the pump to sustain the results. Maintaining the experience relied heavily on the investment of my own personal energy.
The feminine manifests in an ascending flow of energy–from the bottom up. You know how this feels. You have a feeling that something needs to change, or that you’d like to create something. It starts in the lower body area, something is not quite right. You feel a deep urge or an impulse, an inspiration. As you evaluate the idea, you decide if you have enough personal energy to embrace it now, and decide if you can really put your heart into it. Then you may have a conversation with a friend, a mentor or a coach and during that conversation the vision becomes crystal clear. Then you’re inspired with the perfect actions to bring your intention to life.
Every time I speak to an audience of women about the feminine flow of manifesting there are heads nodding in agreement and often times tears.
I created a body centric process for understanding this process called the Feminine Manifesting Map. This Map is composed of three power centers, each with their own gifts and challenges. Understanding how these power centers work and how you can master them allows you to step into leadership and mastery and to bring your message to the world.
The Power Center of Money and Soul Message
This power center is located in the pelvic bowl. Imagine. When functioning well, the energy of this power-center relates to creating wealth without guilt, living our your soul calling and mission, expressing your brilliance and making that your business, creating programs/systems to express your work and get paid for it, creating and leaving a legacy, and knowing what you want to be known for. I call this conscious profit. It means making a living while at the same time making a life and making money in a way that honors you and everyone around you.
Key ideas here: Brilliance, business, program, profit, legacy, tribe, money, freedom, abundance, and deep joy. Focusing on profit, and not just on making money simply for the sake of making money.
The Power-Center of Influence
This power center in located in the middle chest. Claiming our power without diminishing the power of others, exuding acceptance, forgiveness, love, initiative and teamwork; consciously communicating our message, our mission to our tribe and asking people to be part of what we are creating: this is the power center of Influence.
Key Ideas: Sales, asking for the sales, speaking our passion with heart, truth and conviction, loving our work and what we are creating.
The Power-Center of Impact
The third and final power-center is centered in the middle of the forehead and extends from the throat to just slightly above the head. This is the place where all the magic comes together as we take our essential soul message and empower it with influence and impact. What emerges is a women who is so aligned with who she is and what she’s up to, that nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing can stop her. It is the perfect storm of empowerment, vision and calling.
Key Ideas: Communicating your purpose, seeing inspired possibilities, you know the higher calling that your work serves, feel to the connected to the divine; and use thought and sound to create success.
The Magic of the Ask
You can have all the education and the best experience in the world and lack the confidence you need to ask for what you really want. Confidence is a catalyst which can make a real difference in the scope of your life and propel you to a greatness you wouldn’t have without it.
It provides the power you need to step into unknown situations – unafraid to ask and unafraid to receive. It all starts with the question.
The kind of question that you ask determines the answer that you receive. When you live in the question instead of in the answer life becomes easy. You don’t have to figure it out, you simply ask the right question. The universe is an unlimited place with unlimited possibilities. When you ask a question and then answer it yourself, you’ve stopped the universe from giving you anything.
What’s it going to take?
What would it take to create ________?
What would it take for _______to happen?
How could this get better?
Who does this belong to?
Where does this comes from?
How did I create this?
What’s right about this that I’m not getting?
What’s right about me that I’m not getting?
What awareness do I have that I am not acknowledging?
How does it get any better than this?
What amazing experiences can I create today?
What generative business can I create that would make me tons of money?
What’s the most important thing for me to do today?
Answering these questions will help you get to the most expansive and productive answer that you need.
Benefits of Breathwork
There is an undeniable connection between how we breathe and the way we feel. Our breathing changes automatically in response to our emotional state. Think about how you feel when you are anxious. Your breathing is likely shallow, yet when you are relaxed, your breathing is deeper. Many studies now show that actively changing our breathing patterns changes our mood state.
One of the easiest ways to create transformation is the practice of breathwork, also known as pranayama in yogic traditions. Breathwork has been used for many thousands of years to change and control consciousness with very predictable results, including stress reduction and release of emotional pain. Recent research shows that conscious, connected breathing creates deep muscle relaxation and an increase in parasympathetic nervous system activity. Other studies show a drop in heart rate and blood pressure with the practice of breathwork.
A study published in the Journal of Clinical and Diagnostic Research enlisted 60 healthy participants, 30 of which practiced pranayama, and 30 of which did not, as a control group. The study measured physiological responses to the breathing techniques and noted that short-term “breathing exercise can also relieve stress through increased parasympathetic (vagal) functions, which suppressed the sympathetic activity, thus denoting the parasympathetic dominance.”
What does that really mean? It means that breathwork is the fastest way to shift from a heightened state of negative stimulation to a place of calm awareness.
Breathing is part of the autonomic nervous system, which controls the heart rate, blood pressure, digestion, and elimination. Conscious, connected breathing actually helps practitioners reduce stress and increase relaxation in both the mind and the body. The breath is the only function of the autonomic nervous system that can be reliably controlled by conscious human activity. Control of the brain through conscious, connected breathing is a method by which other functions of the body may also then be accessed. It makes sense then that control of the subconscious mind can be activated through this conscious breathing.
Ancient texts define the breath, also known as prana, as vital life-force energy. It is the force that enlivens all matter and elements. Using the breath to access life-force energy amplifies and actives it, giving us more useable energy for what we desire. It is actually this process that unlocks the awakening process on a cellular level.
This energy moves through the body and allows us to create an active connection between the conscious and subconscious mind. The part of the brain that transitions us from conscious to unconscious is the reticular activator system (RAS). The RAS is actually considered our arousal system, and nature has set up a system to conserve energy. In other words, we are only aroused when we have a concrete reason to be. That concrete reason can be related to safety, getting more resources or living out our calling.
The RAS has a very specific function: it filters through the information received by our brain and determines what is important and what can be ignored. The RAS helps us to focus on what we want, on our calling and desire, and then transform that specific idea into physical achievement.
The next questions we might ask is how do we activate the RAS? How do we increase our arousal to help us achieve our goals? As we focus on pleasure, on what lights us up, the RAS is activated and begins to scan the environment to find a way to achieve our intentions. It literally brings every bit of information that is in alignment with our desire into our conscious awareness. We hyper-focus on our intention through the work of the RAS. This in turn creates the perfect manifesting environment as we give more and more attention to what we want to experience.
Active, conscious breathing also releases naturally occurring DMT into the brain. DMT or dimethyltryptamine, is a chemical compound that is found in the pineal gland. The pineal gland is a pinecone-shaped gland in the middle of your brain located between your eyes. DMT is also a man-made psychedelic drug that can induce out-of-body experiences or intense hallucinations. This naturally occurring chemical compound is found in every living animal, human, and some plants and is responsible for regulating our sense of time. This chemical is found in practically every vertebrate species. During times of extreme physical stress, some near-death experiences, and even during deep REM sleep, the body releases DMT.
Yet despite DMT being naturally produced in the body, it is classified as a schedule 1 drug, which by law makes it the equivalent of magic mushrooms, peyote cactus, and opiates, like heroin. But don’t despair. The bottom line is that you have the power within you to experience reality in a different way, a way that can be gentle, healing and profoundly transf
The Missing Rules of Manifesting for Powerful Women
Your ability to manifest the abundance you crave and to feel 100% on fire starts with cultivating your feminine power an sensual energy. As a life coach, I want to help you recognize beautiful, spiritual moments in life and improve your confidence with feminine power.
It was a beautiful sunrise. The kind of sunrise you feel deep in your bones, like everything is right in the world. It’s such a gift because you can’t plan to be in the exact right place at the exact right time and so I am always in deep appreciation for perfect timing when I’m witness to such a spiritual sight.
On this summer morning I had gotten my granddaughter out of bed early and we rode our bikes to the lake. She was riding my orange cruiser, complete with a flower basket on the front, and I’d made us breakfast sandwiches to eat at the lake. Being ten, she had no qualms about riding to the lake in her swimsuit, and in fact, she was rather insistent upon it.
“Grandma, I want to get right in the water when we get there!”
I had my yoga mat on my back and a thermos of coffee on my bike. We were both set for a great, successful morning.
After we parked our bikes on the sand, I got out my mat and my granddaughter got in the water. I joined her and we were up to our necks in cold lake water as the sun came over the horizon. Simply incredible. As a woman in business, I was really appreciative that I could plan my day around a sunrise swim with my granddaughter.
After we played in the water, I was ready for yoga. I settled on my mat and began my spiritual practice, toes at the edge of the water, stretching up to the cloudless sky. Yes. . . soooo good.
“Do you know what we need?” Silence so grandma can finish her pose?
“No, love, tell me. What do we need?”
“We need some goggles! The water is too cold to keep my eyes open. It’s too cold for my eyeballs.”
Ah yes, goggles. That would be perfect. “Okay, let’s see if we can find some when we get back to my house”.
And a nice deep forward bend, exhaling. She was happy with this response, at least for the moment, and swam away.
As I came back into standing position, I took in the scene – the beach, sunrise, yoga, my granddaughter, and I was filled with such love and awe for that moment. If my feelings had been visible, it would have looked like a rising balloon expanding to encompass the entire beach. I closed my eyes to savor the spiritual moment and then opened them as I took a forward bend.
There in front of me, in the sand, what was that? It had washed up to the edge of my mat when my eyes were closed. Leaning forward I pulled a child sized pair of goggles out of the water. Wait, what??
“Hey love, will these work?”
“Grandma, did you bring these?”
“No, they washed up on the beach, they must be just for you!” Yeah, I pulled them out of thin air for you, but who’s counting. Wow, talk about manifesting!
Her squeal of delight made me laugh out loud. As we rode home, it really sunk in that the goggles had shown up in direct response to the rules of attraction and manifestation. But the principles at work were some of the lesser known points. After studying the rules of attraction for decades, I had dialed in the “how-to” of attraction for powerful women. As a woman in business, I felt it was a competitive advantage to understand and apply these principles in the how to make money a conversation.
As I contemplated the experience, I had new insights and understanding about some of the “missing links” of manifesting and I thought you might want to know what these missing links were all about. Briefly:
1. Feelings create a magnetic field
2. Feelings are broadcast on the earth’s magnetic field also known as gravity
3. The universe interacts with us through feelings
4. Energy responds to feelings, not words
5. Sensual energy is incredibly potent
6. Women hold energy in the feminine power center (part of the second chakra)
7. Feminine energy moves upward to manifest, not down
8. Appreciation and savoring build a charge of energy
9. Releasing that charge with a single intention in mind is like releasing a lightning strike
10. The mindset of “no-expectation” produces a super quick result
If you’d like to work with these feminine power links more in depth, perhaps we should have a conversation. I love working as a life coach, and we can work together to improve your confidence and spiritual life.
Flawsome: Why Failing is the New Success
Welcome to Your Imperfect Life. Relax, it’s going to be all right. Not perfect is not a bad thing. In fact, imperfections are a good thing. They can cause growth and laughter. They can make you a more authentic person. They can be things of beauty. They can empower and grow self-confidence. Business coaching will boost your confidence, create an environment for you to be the successful woman leader you have wanted to be, and improve your professional career.
Not too shabby for something that most people try to cover up, ignore and avoid.
Didn’t get that client you really wanted to work with? Flawsome. Something better is coming along.
So, you beautiful women in business…..don’t really understand the numbers that make your business tick but too embarrassed to ask for help?
Flawsome. You’ve been successful up to this point without really mastering the numbers, imagine what’s possible if you really got it.
Didn’t hit your goal of losing 25 pounds but lost 22 instead? Flawsome. Steady progress wins the race and is still successful.
Believe me, I know all about being a less than perfect female leader, but it’s taken a long time to recognize flawsome. I used to be totally focused on making sure everything was done right, all the time. I succumbed to the expectations of my husband (now my ex) had for a perfectly clean house all the time, dinner on the table when he arrived home, kids happy and always well-mannered, and of course, to be ten pounds below my ideal weight. Because that’s just what a good wife does, right?
That same attitude carried over to my businesses. I’ve been a women entrepreneur and business owner for (geez!) 30 years and I have sure made my share of mistakes. Compulsively checking and re-checking the marketing pieces. Not stepping out and meeting people because public speaking gave me a migraine (I have overcome this one, thank goodness!) Being afraid to ask for the sale because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Being over-confident in sales projections and making a large buying decision based on faulty numbers.
Flawsome, baby. How could any of these possibly be flawsome? Because it shaped me into who I am today. Taught me to fight for my self-esteem, confidence, and intelligence. To stand up and speak up for what is right and true. To respect myself enough to insist on respect. As a women leader, to ask for the sale and to absolutely know the numbers in my business that drive success.
It seems to me that failing, and failing big, is actually the new success model. You can’t really work out the kinks in anything without a spectacular fail or two along the way.
I used to think that if I just had happy thoughts everything would be okay. There’s no doubt about it, positivity is always a plus in any woman’s life. We could all use a boost of positivity and confidence in ourselves and in our abilities.
But what happens when the tide of negativity overwhelms our consciousness and deflates the positive progress we have make? It’s then that the female power of habit kicks in. The muscle we develop in this situation helps establish a strong, creative, confident, and courageous temperament.
When you believe that a mistake is evidence that you’re weak, worthless and not trying hard enough it’s actually evidence of how you really feel about yourself. You feel that you’re weak. You feel that you’re worthless. Eventually, you feel that nothing you do will succeed. You lose confidence in yourself and in your abilities. Something that doesn’t exist actually has the ability to make you fail at life.
The way around these problems is simple. You need to begin embracing your imperfections and see them for what they really are – flawsome opportunities for growth and self-knowledge. For women leaders, recognizing flawsome and moving forward anyway is essential. Without it, everything in business and life comes to a screeching halt. Personally, I think that the way we define beauty influences our idea of perfection.
The Chaos and Beauty of Feminine Power
There are two ways of approaching a definition of beauty. In the West, we have tended to define beauty in terms of the absolute. We associate beauty with perfection. Think about Keats’s poem “Ode on a Grecian Urn” which contains the line that “beauty is truth, truth beauty – that is all you know on earth and all you need to know.” That line encapsulates our ideas about what beauty really is. For many, beauty is an ideal. This means that, like all ideals, beauty exists on a higher plane of reality than the rest of us. It is different than us. It is apart from us. It is not us. In short, in the minds of many, beauty is synonymous with perfection.